Christmas 1994

Christmas of 1994 is one that I will never forget.  I was six years old that year and my mom and dad had sat me down and explained to me that we did not have the money for Christmas presents that year because dad’s shop was not doing well. I remember being disappointed and upset and since my parents did not let me believe in Santa Claus the situation seemed hopeless. Christmas Eve rolled around and like my parents said there were no presents under the tree. While we were eating dinner I heard sirens outside. At first I thought they were going past the house and then I realized that they were pulling in our driveway. I then saw the flashing lights reflected through the window. I clearly remember wondering what my dad had done to have the police coming on Christmas Eve. I was afraid that they were going to take him to jail… for what I did not know. It turned out that the policeman was one of our friend’s brothers and that they had filled the backseat of his squad car to the brim with Christmas presents for us. Instead of being one of the worst Christmases of my life it was one of the best. It had such a positive impact on me because it taught me to be thankful for what I have because you never know when you will lose what you have. It also taught me the value of compassion and caring for others. I learned what it felt like to be helped at that young age and I decided that from then on I would help others as much as I could throughout my life. The experience changed me and I think it helped mold me into the person that I am today. I am thankful for the kindness of that family that year because without their generosity I would not have that lesson to think back on.

You and Me

I look into your eyes and see
All of the hurts and troubles of times past
I wish I could turn back time
And change the hurts to joy and trouble to good
Erase the bad and replace it with good
Ease your pain and be a balm to your soul
I hope when you see me
You know that I care
And I hope I help make your day
A little bit Brighter and more hopeful
A lttle more fun and joyous
I care more than you know

Winter

Winter is coming,
Winter is fast approaching.
Cold winds are blowing,
Look its snowing.
Days are short,
With little time to consort.
Nights are long,
And filled with song.
Icy roads,
Sleighs with loads.
People bundled up,
With tea in many a cup.
Every thing is crystal clear,
Winter is near!

Why?

Why?
A single word.
How can a single word
Reflect so much anguish?
Why did you do this to us?
How could you desert us?
Why?
What did we do?
Why won't you come back?
Why? Why?
ANSWER ME!
But you won't,
I know you won't.
You left us.
All I ask is why?
Why?

Wasted Garden

: She runs and runs, forgets where she's going
: All she knows is she's sowing
: Seeds everlasting into fertile soil
: Grown with ceaseless toil
: Into a garden oft' neglected
: Into a soil oft' rejected
: Now cared for in such haste
: And left as such a sad waste

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Wonderful and mysterious
Complicated and twisted
Hard and strange
Full of trials and joys
Never ending
Always beginning
Always multiplying
Never dividing
Always Present
Always renewing

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Are you happy??
You've made me cry
I swore no one would make me cry
Ever again
Yet somehow you made me cry
You have hurt me more deeply than you will ever know
Instead of trying to work things out
You insist on taking revenge
I didn't do it to hurt you
But yet you are doing your best to hurt me
I sit all alone and think about you
Think about what has happened and how things could be different
I am growing up
I am learning some hard lessons in the process
I realize now that you never really know what people are like
Or how they will treat you
I thought that I was more important to you than your pride
Just because I am not what you wanted me to be
Does not mean that I am not your daughter
Do you not love me because I disappointed you?
Do you still care about me at all?
Or am I just a chapter in your book that has ended?
I am an adult now
Whether you like it or not
Whether you acknowledge it or not
All I want from you is the love and respect that I deserve
I work hard all the time to make you proud
I keep my grades up
And I always work to better myself
I got a job
I am saving money
I try to make you proud
I refuse to be treated like a child
I refuse to be put on a guilt trip
I refuse to let you manipulate me
I refuse to be a puppet
And I refuse to be an instrument of spite
I am my own person
I have my own hopes and dreams
I will live my life the way I want
And I will not be ordered about by anyone