Take Back the Night

Many people experience sexual violence of one form or another. Some never recover from the experience. I have endured many different types of sexual violence including rape. I was seventeen the summer that I was raped, and living with my mother in South Carolina. I met a guy who said that he had just moved to the Carolina's from California and that he did not have any friends yet. We began corresponding through MySpace and the telephone and finally agreed to meet up and hang out. I was thinking that we would go to the mall or to the movies, get to know each other better, and maybe I would introduce him to some of my other friends. He picked me up and we started just chatting while he drove. I didn’t really pay attention to where we were or where we were headed just talked to him. We stopped outside of a house and he invited me in. He said that he needed to pick a few things up. Without warning he started to kiss me, take my clothes off, and then he raped me repeatedly. I did not feel that I had the option to say no because I was afraid of him hurting or possibly killing me. I did not know where we were and I had no way to contact anyone that I knew. I was at his mercy and no one even knew who I was with. I was scared of the possibilities, anything could have happened. He later contacted me and had the nerve to suggest that we repeat the “exercise”. He made it quite clear to me that he thought I was trash for him to use and then toss out. To this day I struggle with the repercussions of that night. I was lucky in that he wore condoms when he raped me, but the emotional struggle is still there. I struggle to regain confidence and self worth.  Now whenever I am with anyone I have not known for a long time I am sure that I have a cell phone with me, several people know who I am with and where we are going, and that I pay attention to where we go. I hope this helps others who have been through a similar experience or who may be faced with similar situations in the future.